life's pretty much the same these days. school term ended and here comes the long awaited study week, exams week and holidays, to me it's just holiday everyday.

nothing much happened. phs carnival was okay, didnt expect much though. there're so many unfamiliar faces and few of the bands that performed were horrendous, not that we are or were good but yea. i was fucking sick on that day and didnt get to see people that i ought to see, caught up with some old friends and proceeded home.

national day was spent staying at home watching ndp parade cause i was too sick to even leave my house, might die somewhere out there.

today is a fucking lousy day. it just sucks watching others fly over you wit the sense of helplessness. im just so tired of being always stuck at the average standard. be it gaming, sports, studies or even as roles of son, friend etc. oh well but theres nothing much i can do. i'm alr 18 (to be) and its kinda late. still, i'll try, trying hard to shine as impossible as it may seems.

face it, this is one the many facts in the world. only with either power, money, status or real skills, you can earn respect from others or even strangers.

i've got this good friend of mine, i wont tell you who but he is kind of in some shit now. still remaining uncontactable for one whole week already and i should do something but im just reluctant, or rather lazy is a better word. whatever situation he is in now, he must be suffering.
but, who cares man. friends are still trying to achieve holy shit spree in dota, slogging guts out for those pathetic cents, hoping that 3 point shot could go in, catching the latest movie. who seriously gives a fuck when they are having fun outside. it's only when you sit down infront of the computer having nothing to do and then with the sudden thought that hey, i actually got this friend out there and then, one will start to empathize.

but but but some people say, then what you want us to do? emo whole day and remorse for him meh. ive no answer to this question and is still in a journey in search of enlightenment.

it's a vicious cycle. like what you have learnt in your primary 4 science, its an interrelated environment. everyone wants someone. people either use or get used. your friends set in only when you needed accompanionship.
when there's no other suitable dota host or last player,
when girlfriend is occupied with everything but not you,
when there's not enough legs to play tiles,
when conflict arises between you and some neighbourhood hooligans
when your activities or school had ended and you didnt want to go home so early
or worst, when there's something later on and had to kill time till then.

well, not everyone is a saint certainly and neither am i.

just my two cents.